Every January, thousands of highly motivated men and women across the nation announce to their family and friends that this is finally the year they are going to get in shape. They find a gym, sign up for automatic withdrawals and start working out. But chances are, they won’t succeed. By February, many will have already fallen by the wayside and by spring, most of them will have dropped out of the race all together. According to some statistics, as many as 80% of these highly motivated people will have disappeared from the gym altogether.

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I think we can all relate to this. We’ve all made plans at some point in our life to make some sort of significant change. Maybe it’s not working out at a gym, but perhaps it’s eating right or working less or responding to difficult relationships in a new way. Whatever the change, it’s usually harder than it seems. Often, we fail and fall back into our old ways shortly after starting out.

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The question is why?

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There are a lot of reasons for these failures in our lives. However, one common issue is that we assume enthusiasm is enough to help us achieve our new goal. We plunge in headfirst—without investing enough time thinking through the reasons why we want the change. Of course, we do think about this at a certain level. We want to work out so we can get into shape. We want to start eating right so we can lose some weight. We want to work less so we can spend more time with our families. But we often don’t take the time to ask the why questions at a deeper level. For example: “Why do I really want to do this?” “What’s driving this decision?” “What will my life be like in five, ten, or twenty-five years if I make this change?” and, “What will life be like in five, ten or twenty-five years if I don’t?”

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When it comes to creating lasting change, we need to start by asking these deeper why questions—and to keep on asking them until we discover reasons that are both radically honest and deeply compelling. Then we need to write them down and review them often. If we don’t, chances are we will fail to make lasting changes in our lives.

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The reason for this is that change is hard. It’s often much harder than we think. It requires time and energy and sacrifice—especially at first. If we don’t have an adequate answer to the question why, the cost will always be too high.

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This is true when it comes to spiritual disciplines too.

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If you’ve ever tried to establish a regular “rhythm of relationship” with God, you’ve probably discovered that it’s much harder than it looks. Creating a small window in our schedules to pursue God—say 15-30 minutes a day, 5 days a week—doesn’t sound that hard, right? Many of us could do that by simply cutting out one TV show a night. But the reality is, in the context of our busy schedules, even this small change can be ridiculously challenging—especially when we are first getting started.

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In his book Spiritual Leadership, J. Oswald Sanders describes how difficult this is in the area of prayer:

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Prayer is the most ancient, most universal, most intensive expression of religious instinct.  . . .It is indeed the Christian's vital breath and native air. But, strange paradox, most of us are plagued with a subtle aversion to praying. We do not naturally delight in drawing near to God. We pay lip service to the delight and potency and value of prayer. We assert that it is an indispensable adjunct of mature spiritual life. We know that it is constantly enjoined and exemplified in the Scriptures. But in spite of all, too often we fail to pray. J. Oswald Sanders

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This is so true. We know in our minds how important this time with God is—and yet we often fail to take the practical steps to make it possible.

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At the end of this lesson, you will have some time to think through your own personal why’s—the deep and compelling reasons why you want to spend time with God on a regular basis. But for now, let’s take a look at three of the most universally important reasons we all need time alone with God.

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RENEWAL

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Life is hard. It’s easy to get discouraged, worn down, and lose God’s perspective and vision for our lives. We all need times to disconnect from the distractions of life and reconnect with our Creator — so we can be renewed. Over time, as we develop our rhythm of relationship with God, these “quiet times” will become like a rest stop on the road of life—a place where we can stop, get refreshed, and renew our strength before we hit the road again—refueled by the Holy Spirit. As King David writes, “He restores my soul.” (Psalm 23:3 KJV)

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TRANSFORMATION

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God has a vision for our lives. It’s an epic vision of deep and radical transformation. But, for this transformation to take place, we need time alone with God. The Apostle Paul describes this process of transformation. He says,

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Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will. Romans 12:2

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Did you catch that? God has a vision for our lives. It’s good, pleasing and perfect. But, to experience this vision, we have to be transformed—and that requires the renewing of our minds. This can’t happen when we are always rushing around at ninety miles an hour! We need regular times to slow down, read His Word, listen to His Spirit, and reflect on what He is showing us.

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As Mother Teresa writes,

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We need silence to be alone with God, to speak to him, to listen to him, to ponder his words deep in our hearts. We need to be alone with God in silence to be renewed and transformed. Silence gives us a new outlook on life. In it we are filled with the energy of God himself that makes us do all things with joy. Mother Teresa

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RELATIONSHIP

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If our goal is to pursue a deep and intimate relationship with God, the first thing we need is time alone with Him. This is just how close relationships work! We need to create unhurried space in our lives where we can listen for God’s voice—through His Word and Spirit—and share our hearts and thoughts in an increasingly honest way.

 

In his book Too Busy Not To Pray, Bill Hybels describes the role this time plays in building an authentic relationship with God: 

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Authentic Christianity is not learning a set of doctrines and then stepping into cadence with people all marching the same way.  . . .It is a walk—a supernatural walk with a living, dynamic, communicating God. Thus the heart and soul of the Christian life is learning to hear God's voice and developing the courage to do what he tells us to do.  . . .Embarrassingly few Christians ever reach this level of authenticity; most Christians are just too busy. And the archenemy of spiritual authenticity is busyness. Anyway you cut it, a key ingredient in authentic Christianity is time. Not leftover time, not throwaway time, but quality time. Bill Hybels

 

So, these are three of the most universally important reasons for spending time alone with God: Renewal, Transformation and Relationship. But these are certainly not the only three! You need to spend some time discovering your own reasons and remember, they need to be both radically honest and deeply compelling. (For example, if at this point in your life, you are not very motivated to spend time with God, that’s where you need to start your honest conversation.)

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Answering these questions will take time, honesty, and grit. Be sure to write your answers down. This might seem unnatural to you, especially if you aren’t in the habit of journaling. However, your written answers will serve as a source of motivation for you. When you start to lose your vision (as we all do), you can go back to what you’ve written—when your mind was clear, and your motivation was high. When you are tempted to give up during the early days of this journey, you can return to your journal pages to strengthen and sustain you. 

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This is vital because—when we lose our why, we lose our way.

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DAILY RESPONSE

 

• Can you think of a time when you decided to make a significant change in your life and started out with the best of intentions, but fell short of your goal? Why do you think this happened? What derailed you? 

• Today we highlighted three of the most compelling reasons for spending time alone with God: Renewal, Transformation, and Relationship. To find your personal Why, use the following questions as a guide. 

• Why do you want to spend time alone with God? Be as specific as possible and remember to be radically honest!

• Use your imagination. How might your life be different three months from now if you were to start (or continue) spending time with God on a regular basis? What impact might this have on every area of your life? How about in one year? Five years? Twenty-five years?

• What specific things will be missing in your life in three months if you don’t start (or continue) spending time with God on a regular basis? What impact will this have on every area of your life? How about in one year? Five years? Twenty-five years?

• Write a prayer to God based on your answers to these questions. Remember to be radically honest, and if you sense Him speaking to you in any way, be sure to write it down!